After the Patriot Act Vote: A Job Posting

Help Wanted.
Exciting opportunity for Political Party with any balls whatsoever.
Must have better than second-grade understanding of the Constitution- a document that used to protect our rights but is now of historical interest only.
Must understand that boys don't get to boss girls around anymore and that girls get to decide about their own thingies (I'll explain this when you're older).
Must realise that it is OK to believe in ghosts but some us have outgrown that so keep casper out of my government.
Must bear in mind that many of us are alive today ONLY because of modern science and scientific medicine so keep the sky pilots away from scientific education (unless y'all enjoyed the rapture of the plague and other jebus given intelligent designs).
Must love this country enough to stand up to republican idiots and war-mongers and coward democrats and radio fascists and "electability" and centrism and the bloody handed wombats that are running our economy and our freedom into the dirt.
Oh, and if you are a breeder, you might want to consider thinking of your kids.....

Anyone? Helloooooooo! Is this thing on?