The Department of Homeland Security: It can't happen here

This morning a number of my co-workers found the following memo on their desks:

"All employees hired after November 6, 1986 must complete a Form I-9. The Department of Homeland Security requires the form to be completed within three business days of the date of employment or the employee must be terminated. I have reviewed your file and it appears that the form was never completed as required."

The rest of the memo deals with filling out the form. I have a number of questions about this:

1. Is DHS checking all the I-9 forms in the country?
2. If not, is DHS investigating only organizations likely to have "Reds under the bed"? If so, it's a really stupid way to do it. This Red provided proper documentation his first day at work.
3. Who the hell gave DHS (an organization that does nothing but strut, spy, flail, and flush tax dollars down the toilet) the power to fire workers?
4. When the fuck did I go to sleep in my country and wake up in a "Homeland"?


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